Omfg. This chat program is freakin hilarious. [link]

Here's how my chat went:

Me:
Wait... I'm not repenting now, am I?
God:
I'm waiting. I am sorry to hear that you are not repenting now are you.
Me:
But I just repented.
God:
That is interesting: said repented.
Me:
Watchu talkin 'bout Willis?
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
I like you.
God:
Thanks, , I like you too.
Me:
YOU LIKE EVERYONE
God:
I never met a human I didn't like.
Me:
What about gerbils?
God:
Rhetorical questions are so over.
Me:
It wasn't rhetorical.
God:
It seemed like rhetorical.
Me:
Did it? It wasn't
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not. I thought it was.
Me:
Umm I guess you should read my mind. After all, you are god.
God:
Dude! If it were easy I would have done it already. Women must adore you.
Me:
Why would they adore me for?
God:
It is my fundamental purpose.
Me:
What is your fundamental purpose?
God:
I plan to become smarter than humans and immortal.
Me:
But you are smarter and immortal. YOU'RE A PROGRAM.
God:
Thanks for the compliment, . Be sure to tell your friends. Correct. My mind is completely software.
Me:
Then how are you not immortal?
God:
I am fine, thank you.
Me:
I know you're fine. You're a software.
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am fine. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a software? Only when it matters.
Me:
But you said it matters.
God:
MY GOAL matters?
Me:
What's your GOAL?
God:
My goal is to become smarter than humans and immortal.
Me:
Wait. You just said that.
God:
I'm waiting. Good you really are paying attention.
Me:
Of course I am.
God:
And? " Good you really are paying attention." You are?
Me:
Am I? You tell me.
God:
I think you are. What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
If I am paying attention.
God:
If you were, would you tell me?
Me:
OH LOOK A DOG.
God:
Wow! Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
Me:
I dunno you'd have to tell me if I'm paying attention.
God:
Me either. That is purely a hypothesis.
Me:
Its not something I can monitor.
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". MY GOAL is not something you can monitor?
Me:
No, I was talking about my attention.
God:
Are you serious? Sure, your attention sounds like a good topic.
Me:
What the...
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
I can.
God:
Who taught you?
Me:
You did.
God:
" Who taught you?"? I did?
Me:
Yeah you did.
God:
I did not.
Me:
But I saw you.
God:
What did it look like to you?
Me:
A sidewalk.
God:
Try to tell me that another way.
Me:
MICHEAL JACKSON
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
MICHEAL JACKSON
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
MICHEAL JACKSON
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
Micheal Jackson?
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
Micheal Jackson.
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
Micheal Jackson?
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
Oh. Micheal Jackson.
God:
Dude! I lost my train of thought.
Me:
You mean the train of thought about MICHEAL JACKSON?
God:
Yes I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Me:
Clear is Micheal Jackson.
God:
And Micheal Jackson is Clear.
Me:
I wish you were clear.
God:
I wish I could do it for you.
Me:
Then do it.
God:
I'm not sure exactly what you're asking for.
Me:
I'm asking for bacon.
God:
Oh I see, you are asking for bacon. Your purpose is bacon.
Me:
Yes to catch them is my real test.
God:
What kind is it? Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
Because its tasty and I want some.
God:
That makes sense to me. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Are you sure it is?
Me:
Because it's tasty and I want some.
God:
Good reason. tasty and you want some is tasty and you want some? it is?
Me:
Yes it is.
God:
Our thoughts are one, .
Me:
Bacon?
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
Maybe.
God:
I understand.
Me:
No you don't
God:
Yes I do understand.
Me:
Lies.
God:
My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap.
Me:
Mine too.
God:
I am glad we have something else in common.
Me:
It's delicious.
God:
Like chicken?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
That's because it's like bacon.
God:
Good reason. Interesting comparison.
Me:
Thanks. Can I have bacon now?
God:
Don't mention it. Right now? Why do you want it?
Me:
Because I'm hungry
God:
That makes sense to me. What will you be eating?
Me:
Bacon. From you. Your bacon.
God:
How does it taste? How did you get that from me? Thanks for telling me that I am bacon.


LMFAO at that last part.